The Wellness Roundup With Dr. Jill

A Helpful Article for Parents on The Current Mental Health Crisis from Dr. Schuyler in The Pediatric News Journal

At Healthy Kids Pediatrics and at nearly every pediatric office in the United States, we are faced with the overwhelming reality that so many of our patients are in desperate need of mental health services, yet the lack of available mental health specialists has created further challenges for already frustrated families. The recent mental health crisis in our country, further amplified by the COVID-19 pandemic, has forced more and more families to struggle as they try to help their anxious and/or depressed child.

Even when a family is able to connect with a mental health professional there are expectations that our patients and families have going into therapy that end up not being met in the way that the patient or family anticipated. 

We came across a short article in one of our pediatric journals that we believe will offer value and insight for our HKP families who are dealing with mental health issues. Dr. Schuyler Henderson, professor of clinical psychiatry at NYU, offers his reassurance that even though families and patients may not think that the coping skills and behavioral interventions they’ve already learned are working, they do work! The article was definitely helpful for us to read and we hope you will get something out of it as well.


When coping skills and parenting behavioral interventions ‘don’t work’

By Schuyler W. Henderson, MD

You have an appointment with a 14-year-old youth you last saw for an annual camp physical. He had screened positive for depression, and you had referred him to a local therapist. He did not have an appointment until after camp, and you have only met a few times, but since you had spoken with him about his depression, he set up an appointment with you to ask about medications. When you meet him you ask about what he had been doing in therapy and he says, “I’m learning ‘coping skills,’ but they don’t work.”

From breathing exercises and sticker charts to mindfulness and grounding exercise, coping skills can be crucial for learning how to manage distress, regulate emotions, become more effective interpersonally, and function better. Similarly, parenting interventions, which change the way parents and youth interact, are a central family intervention for behavioral problems in youth.

It is very common, however, to hear that they “don’t work” or have a parent say, “We tried that, it doesn’t work.”

When kids and parents reject coping skills and behavioral interventions by saying they do not work, the consequences can be substantial. It can mean the rejection of coping skills and strategies that actually would have helped, given time and support; that kids and families bounce between services with increasing frustration; that they search for a magic bullet (which also won’t work); and, particularly concerning for physicians, a belief that the youth have not received the right medication, resulting in potentially unhelpful concoctions of medication.

One of the biggest challenges in helping youth and parents overcome their difficulties – whether these difficulties are depression and anxiety or being better parents to struggling kids – is helping them understand that despite the fact that coping skills and behavioral interventions do not seem to work, they work.

We just have to do a better job explaining what that “work” is.

There are five points you can make.

  • First, the coping skill or behavioral intervention is not supposed to work if that means solving the underlying problem. Coping skills and behavioral interventions do not immediately cure anxiety, mend broken hearts, correct disruptive behaviors, disentangle power struggles, or alleviate depression. That is not what their job is. Coping skills and behavioral interventions are there to help us get better at handling complex situations and feelings. In particular, they are good at helping us manage our thoughts (“I can’t do it,” “He should behave better”) and our affect (anger, frustration, rage, anxiety, sadness), so that over time we get better at solving the problems, and break out of the patterns that perpetuate these problems.
  • Second, kids and parents do not give skills credit for when they do work. That time you were spiraling out of control and told your mom you needed a break and watched some YouTube videos and then joined the family for dinner? Your coping skills worked, but nobody noticed because they worked. We need to help our young patients and families identify those times that coping skills and behavioral interventions worked.
  • Third, let’s face it: Nothing works all the time. It is no wonder kids and families are disappointed by coping skills and behavioral interventions if they think they magically work once and forever. We need to manage expectations.
  • Fourth, we know they are supposed to fail, and we should discuss this openly up front. This may sound surprising, but challenging behaviors often get worse when we begin to work on them. “Extinction bursts” is probably the easiest explanation, but for psychodynamically oriented youth and families we could talk about “resistance.” No matter what, things tend to get worse before they get better. We should let people know this ahead of time.
  • Fifth, and this is the one that forces youth and parents to ask how hard they actually tried, these skills need to be practiced. You can’t be in the middle of a panic attack and for the first time start trying to pace your breathing with a technique a therapist told you about 3 weeks ago. This makes about as much sense as not training for a marathon. You need to practice and build up the skills, recognizing that as you become more familiar with them, they will help you manage during stressful situations. Every skill should be practiced, preferably several times or more in sessions, maybe every session, and definitely outside of sessions when not in distress.

We cannot blame children and parents for thinking that coping skills and behavioral interventions do not work. They are struggling, suffering, fighting, frightened, angry, anxious, frustrated, and often desperate for something to make everything better. Helping them recognize this desire for things to be better while managing expectations is an essential complement to supporting the use of coping skills and behavioral interventions, and a fairly easy conversation to have with youth.

So when you are talking about coping skills and parental behavioral interventions, it is important to be prepared for the “it didn’t work” conversation, and even to address these issues up front. After all, these strategies may not solve all the problems in the world, but can be lifelong ways of coping with life’s challenges.

Dr. Henderson is associate professor of clinical psychiatry at New York University and deputy director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Bellevue Hospital, New York.

Dr. Jill and Marcello Pedalino from Healthy Kids Pediatrics present their Healthy Living Tips in Riviera Maya, Mexico

Kudos to Dr. Jill for delivering a dynamic and impactful keynote presentation this week in Riviera Maya, Mexico for the 2022 Think Tank Summer Symposium. Think Tank is a group of #philanthropic women and men from all over the country whom are #business leaders in their local communities.

Dr. Jill and HKP’s CEO Marcello Pedalino spent this past week sharing healthy #lifestyle tips, energy management principles, work-life integration advice, #parenting hacks, #relationship truths, and business #philosophy guidance from the stage and in private one-on-one sessions.

If you know of a group or organization that could benefit from a presentation and event like this, contact our office for more information. 844-437-5455 or


#93… Another Five Star Review for Healthy Kids Pediatrics!

Thank you, Tresten, for this awesome 5 Star review!

This is #93!! Only 7 more reviews to reach 100!!!

If you’ve had a positive interaction with anyone from the HKP team recently and you haven’t yet shared your positive feedback, please take a minute to post a review. We really appreciate it.

And, when we reach 100 Five Star Reviews, the HKP Team will be headed to NYC for a dinner cruise around the Hudson to celebrate!

Have a great weekend, -HKP

“Healthy Kids Pediatrics is hands down the best functioning doctors office I have ever been to. The doctors are always on time, and flexible to get an appointment. The staff in front is on top of their game and kind to boot! Other doctor’s office staff these days are like visiting the local miserable DMV, not this team. They know your babies name when you come in, listen well and whip around that calendar to always accommodate. The doctors follow up with you in a timely manner. Even on the weekends the on call doctor actually returns calls that day! Dr. Jill has helped me feel confident as a new mom, and reassures me to trust my instincts with my kids health. I hate to move towns because I know I’ll need to switch pediatricians, and I’m devastated. They are best.”

The Covid Vaccine for 6 Month to Under 5 Year Olds is In!

Great news! Our shipment of the Pfizer Covid vaccine for the 6 month to under 5 year old age group just arrived!

We’ll have an indoor clinic tomorrow (Thursday 6/23/22) from 8 am to 10 am at our office.

Please make your reservation by phone or the patient portal today.   

Our supply is limited so it will be first come first served. 

FYI- This is a 3 dose series with dose 2 given 3 weeks after dose 1, and dose 3 given 8 weeks after dose 2- to achieve full efficacy. 


The Healthy Kids Pediatrics Team Breaks 90! On Their Way to 100 Five Star Google Reviews!

Thank you, Maria, for this awesome 5 Star Google review and your kind words about Laura, Felicia, and Dr. Jill!

Only 9 more 5 ⭐️ reviews and The Healthy Kids Team hits 100!!! -HKP

“I have been taking my children to Healthy Kids for almost 6 years now. Besides Dr. Jill being an amazing listener and the best doctor for our family, I also can not say enough great things about Felicia and Laura. Every time I have spoken to Felicia on the phone about a quick question, appointment, paperwork, or something more serious – she has always made me feel comfortable and has gone above and beyond to help work out whatever the situation was. For 6 years she has been consistently easy to work with, knows her job VERY well and truly cares!! Today at our visit, it was the first time we met Laura and immediately my 2 year old (and myself ) loved her. She was so energetic, fun and a great listener. She made his first big boy experience great!!” -Maria Gabriel

Healthy Kids Pediatrics Teams Up With New Jersey Business Leaders and The Paterson Police Department

Special thanks to HKP’s good friend and philanthropist extraordinaire, Mitch Morrison, a group of very generous business professionals, and members of the Paterson Police Department for coming together to help the children of Public School #26 expand their horizons and catch a glimpse of what’s possible.

Dr. Jill and Marcello Pedalino from Healthy Kids Pediatrics presented some of their business philosophies, shared their thoughts on health and wellness, and donated copies of their books to the school library.

Along with community outreach programs led by the police officers, the school’s principal, Dr. Dougé, and the school counselor, Irene Cheski, we hope that all of the students take advantage of these insights and resources so they reach their full potential. 🙌


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